Where O Where has my Sock Pile Gone?

There has been a pile of laundry in my laundry room the last week large enough you could hide several children inside of it.  I will be honest laundry is my nemesis.  You can ask me to do just about any other thing during the day and it will most likely get done, but for me the process of sorting and putting away my laundry never seems to make it high enough on the priority list to knock something else out of the way.  Don’t get me wrong I keep it all clean; you may just find yourself digging for what you need instead of it greeting you nice and neatly in the closet.  I know the arguments of why I need to get it done and put away and keep that tidy for my family, and believe me I have improved greatly in that department since mark and I got married.  I have tried to guilt myself into doing it, tried rewarding myself only if it was done for the week, I have tried scheduling a specific day and time to do it, but reality is it’s one of those things just seem to fall through the cracks. 

 

See I always thought that when I got married I was going to be the next Donna Reed, and if you don’t know who that is think Pioneer Woman minus technology, with pearls, a dress, heels, and a lot less dirt.  For years by no ones fault other than my own I had convinced myself that I was not doing my job to the fullest if I did not take something homemade to every function, if my house wasn’t always done up neat, smelling fabulous, and all the laundry and dishes were spick, span and put away.  Don’t get me wrong, this has never happened on a consistent or even sort of consistent basis since we have gotten married, but I have managed to heap a whole ton of guilt on myself for something I already was struggling to do.  One of my dearest friends is insanely on top of this kind of thing, and often times I would find myself getting so envious of her and others like her, wanting to be more like them and less like me.  Now being close to someone who is opposite of yourself in many ways can be a great thing if you stop comparing yourself, and instead use their strengths to teach you.  Since this friend has been in my life I am a much better and more conscious shopper now especially with things for my kids, I am more prepared for events, and much more on top of anticipating what my kids will need to occupy their time in any given situation.  I without realizing it chose to learn instead of compare, and I am a better mom for it.  What this friend has had to remind me of more than once though is that my life is not hers, and I am not her.  That is so hard to remember.  It is hard to remember that people more skilled and less skilled than us at a given area are not the same as us.  They were never supposed to be. 

 

When God created the world, he created each person and each thing with a unique purpose in mind, and when I sit back and really look at my life up till now I am fortunate enough to be able to see glimpses into why He made me the way that he did.  The trials I was going to face both in my personal life and in the lives of those closest to me would have completely drowned me if I were the perfect Donna Reedesq’ house wife that I had envisioned. 

 

This month is huge one for our family each and the magnitude of it seems to just keep adding on.  The 24^th marks 8 years that mark has been in remission from cancer, yesterday we celebrated 7 years being married, on Monday of this last week it will have been 3 years since the Lord performed an overwhelming miracle and gave Maddox back to us, and this same time 2 years ago we walked back into a hospital with Brylee only to find out yet again that we had comes days from losing her and the Lord put us in the right place at just the right time to not only spare her, but give her a quality of life we never imaged possible.  It is only by God’s mighty grace and design that I was able walk away from the laundry, the house, the dishes, the perfect image of the perfect white picket fence life, and into each of those situations and for the most part let it all go.  God designed and equipped me and me alone to do the therapy, and the doctors appointments, and the explanations to an often confused 5 year old.  He designed me in such a way that I could let certain things go and see a bigger purpose than the here and the now, or the image of what should be.  He gave me a husband that is able to see, however painful it may be for him, that he can not fix a situation, but he is equipped to provide in other ways, that can also in turn help equip me.

 

I am always going to work to improve in the areas that I am weakest in, even the dreaded laundry.  But I am choosing to remember that if the Lord had equipped me the way that I thought I should be equipped, there are so many relationships and situations that I would have left torn and broken, instead of fighting to move forward.  I love the verse in Psalms 139:13-14:

 

13For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

14I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

 

I have to remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made the way that I am.

I look at Brylee and the fact that she can walk, and run, and is trying to talk and I have to remember that the Lord didn’t design me differently because if He had I would not have been able to face the trials that were coming and still be the person, the wife, and the mom I needed to be.  Remember that your job may not always look the way you expect it to, but neither did the cross.  The savior that the world expected was not supposed to be a carpenter with no permanent address, who died a gruesome death and yet it is the most incredible and beautiful, life changing story in all of history.  Try to remember each day that you are wonderfully, fearfully, and uniquely made.  If you allow the Lord to shape you in the way that only he can, your life can have an amazing ripple effect that will go generations beyond what you can see.  Allow your unique equipping to be part of the legacy you will one day leave, because lets face it, in 100 years no one is going to be talking about which pile the clean underwear came from.   



Brylee Trying to say Buddy (I apologize about the friends clip in the background.  I couldn't edit it out)