Wherever He Leads

There are few bonds as strong as that of siblings that you will experience over a lifetime.  There was an edition of times magazine about 10 years that came out that addresses that issue in a way that is more eloquent than I could ever put it, and this is how they described it;

From the time they are born, our brothers and sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They are our scolds, protectors, goads, tormentors, playmates, counselors, sources of envy, objects of pride. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to; how to conduct friendships and when to walk away from them. Sisters teach brothers about the mysteries of girls; brothers teach sisters about the puzzle of boys. Our spouses arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us. Our siblings may be the only people we'll ever know who truly qualify as partners for life. "Siblings," says family sociologist Katherine Conger of the University of California, Davis, "are with us for the whole journey."

What has truly baffled me lately about this idea and this relationship is that it doesn't take years and decades to develop.  It begins at birth, at least in my house.  I don't know that I have seen longing in a child quite as strongly as I have seen it in my children over the last month.  You can see the ache even in Brylee as they ask about Teagan, wondering when she will get to come home.  Maddox struggles because the feeling of missing someone you haven't gotten to see can be a very confusing feeling.  Adaline being the personality that she is along with her age has a basic understanding as to why Teagan can't come home yet, but it doesn't change the longing feeling she has and the desire to just see her and know she is OK.  That is why when the hospital opened the NICU back up to siblings days before we transferred for Teagan's surgery we took the opportunity to let Adaline see her.  As is the case with most of us the simple act of getting to see her sister really for the first time provided her not only joy but comfort.

I have to admit that I am not much different from the kids.  I know what good hands Teagan is in but it takes prayer and a little bit of mental prep everytime I walk out of the doors of the hospital, or watching her getting wheeled backed for surgery.  The advantage that I feel that I have over the kids  that has come with age and experience is the knowledge that at the end of the day I have no real control over any of this.  Ultimately God is in control of her little life and I am ever so grateful, because if I was the one trying to manage all this from a purely human perspective I would have never been able to imagine past those first few days.  Instead of me being in control though, through encouragement, the practice of prayer, and simply living life, each and everytime I am brought to the reality that I am not in control it is a little easier to let things go and trust God with the details.  That is why yesterday when Teagan was taken back to be operated on Mark and I were really able to be ok.  Of course there was a little bit of anxiousness and concern knowing that any number of things can and do happen unexpectedly, but when we surrendered Teagan and her life we knew that meant surrendering to the unexpected as well.  Once again though as with every step along the way with Teagan God faithfully answered our prayers and desires for a successful surgery and so far a successful recovery.

She was able to return to being on no respiratory support again shortly after surgery yesterday and seems to be in minimal discomfort.  She has for all appearance sake maintained all the functions she had prior to surgery snd prayerfully as the pressure continues to reduce in her brain she can build on those.  We were also able to get a look at her MRI which gave us the ability to see much of the damage that occurred prior to her birth.  Now looking at this MRI is similar to looking at a topographical map.  You can see that their are rivers, mountains and valleys, their locations, and even height and depth.  What you can't see is what it's really going to look like when you actually start moving through the area.  There has been a great deal of damage around the front and sides of her brain, however we do know there is healthy tissue there also.  What we don't know is how all of this is going to play out over the next several years.  The brain is truly a vast no mans land that we know so very little about and can do things that are beyond our human comprehension.  The knowledge that comes with seeing the damage gives us such a greater perspective on what all she has already been through, what a fighter God made her to be, and how very far she has come.  So we will continue to take one day at a time asking the Lord to continue to move in mighty ways in her life celebrating each and every victory and rejoicing in her little life.  This does not mean that there are not going to be difficult days, it just means that whatever happens we will choose to fight in such a way that we don't focus on what has been lost from a human perspective but what we have gained through each moment of Teagan's life.  27 days here on this earth and I can say with absolute certainty I will never be the same.  The Lord has lead us 27 days down this road and to the best of my ability I will continue to let go and let Him lead, because if I know nothing else however painful the journey, when I let him lead the end is so much sweeter

 

Wherever he leads I'll go

Wherever he leads I'll go

I'll follow my Christ who loves me so

Wherever he leads I'll go

 

B.B. McKinney

 

 

This weeks prayer requests are:

 

A quick and smooth recovery with NO infections for Teagan.  That she will continue to develop more and more skills.  The next big prayer is that she could learn to take a bottle which will eventually lead to her developing the skills to eventually eat on her own.

 

For Mark as his work schedule keeps him very busy that he could remain strong and rested for each day.

 

That the kids and I can find time to have some good old summer fun amidst the difficult schedule and for everyone helping us with the kids that they would have the strength for each day, because lets face it... three kids between 4 and 7 can get a little crazy!

Your prayers and encouragement helps us through each day.  We love you all

The Strattons